Seed

It's been one month. Today one month ago you started to slip away, my little seed.
I know you were not aware neither of yourself nor of us, of me and your father.
I know I am transferring my feelings to you.
But still I would like to whisper you I much I loved you, how much I cared, and how empty I have been feeling.
I was your mom since the first day I found out you were growing inside me.
I am so sorry you had to go, I would have done anything to keep you with us, anything.
Please believe me. I feel so lonely and useless and my days are so sad without you, my sweet, precious seed.

I am trying hard to go back to life.
Forgive me f I could not keep you safe in my belly.
I need to forgive myself. It's not easy. At all.

My angel, you will always stay with me.

make me good God. But not yet.

and so on

missyou missyou missyou missyou missyou
missyou missyou missyou missyou missyou
missyou missyou missyou missyou missyou
missyou missyou missyou missyou missyou
missyou missyou missyou missyou missyou
missyou missyou missyou missyou missyou

tomorrow he's gonna be in Vegas all day.
He'll leave around 6.30 in the morning and we'll be back late at night.
that's going to be a day to forget. I know, already know.
I'll work a couple of hours, try to exercise and wait all day for him to come home.
maybe I'll go wax and buy a little present for a friend's daughter, just born.
gosh, I'm surrounded by people with babies.

also.....i need to wash my hair!! absolutely, no more procrastination.
i usually wash it everyday, now it's been two days without washing it and it's disgusting!!


tomorrow my last antibiotics! yeah!
then I'll see the doctor and find out if there's something left inside.
hopefully everything is clean now, otherwise little surgery, for the second time. This time they will put me to sleep. Hopefully not for good!

guardare stanca

They are moving to a new place.
I watch them move boxes and furniture, then I come back home and sleep.
watching is tiring.

Seal(ing)

I feel in shape.
Like a seal.

Tonight I am thinking of my grandma.
She was sweet and loved me.
I wish I could hug her one more time.
and hear her "Tesoro mio" once again.

I would like to tell her about the little spot that flew away.