death

We moved to the new house.

I am sad because of my uncle's death, it was unexpected, it happened fast and left everybody shocked.
I am nervous and weak.
during the day I feel stronger, i can manage the pain, at night, as soon as the dark comes, i deflate.

from the bedroom's window I can see the valley.
it's a very nice view.

i want to go back to life.
i feel sad for my aunt, my cousins, for my mom, for my grandfather, for everybody.
i wish i was there.
it's hard to be here and not to share the pain with my relatives.
tomorrow he will be buried, above his son, dead 18 years ago at the age of 18 in a car accident. i like thinking they are together now.

fortunately he is with me, he is very sweet.
when i found out what happened, i was angry, and still i am.
he hugged me for a long time.


i need to sleep.
last night i was awake almost all night, i cried a lot.
i was looking forward to moving to the new place and as soon as i stepped into it, i received this bad news. that's mean. that's unfair.

i know i will go back to a good mood,
right now i feel trapped into a dark tunnel.
i will miss him.
a lot.
a lot.
a lot.
more than that.

ciao zio.