Saturday, June 28, 2008

The Basics. No More than That

It's almost three at night and I cannot sleep.
The overwhelming emotions are there once again.
I was expecting them.
I knew they would have come, sooner or later.
Here they are.
It's like walking in the middle of nowhere where feelings come confused and cruel.
The only solution is stop thinking,
There is no rational solution.
I never feel strong enough to bear this emotions with dignity.
I can cry all my tears and still feel that pressure on my chest,
Still touching that sadness.

Just wait.
Focusing on basic needs.
Such as peeing, eating, breathing.
The bad emotions will disappear.
Just save as much as possible of myself.
Just try to take it easy.
Trapped in the same mental cage.

Monday, June 23, 2008


Today I have seen a guy with this big, black tattoo on his right arm:

Get Rich or Die Trying.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


Today I have seen a guy wearing a T-shirt saying:

Dammela e Godo.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Raining no Stop

Since we arrived we haven't had a sunny day, but the peak of bad weather has been reserved for today. It is raining, raining, raining.
I want to cry.

where is the summer?

Friday, June 6, 2008

A Big Fight

While I was having a fight with you I thought god I am gonna die, it's gonna be either a stroke or a heart attack, it's coming soon, I know.
Since I am still here, I am assuming that I am strong: I must have a good blood circulation and a low blood pressure. Great! I have passed this home-made medical check up, even for free.
However I am pretty sure I have lost a couple of years of my life.

I hate waiting, getting worried because of your delay, waiting, getting worried for your delay, feeling the rage quickly going up, from my feet up to my head, repeating to myself why do you think you have the right to make me wait for so long? And so on, over and over.

I am sorry
is not enough, it does not make any sense to me.
It does not give me back the time I wasted.
You should have thought more, better, faster, easier.

At the end of the day I feel exhausted.
And what for?

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

He is Here!

He was born on the baby Shower's day: over two pounds, breathing on his own, just started eating - to quote his mom - solid foods (milk, I guess). And, above all, he is so sweet and little and precious and delicate and strong and stubborn and a miracle.

His mom sent me an email about my linguistic performances on the baby shower's day:

Ciao! Penso che devi parlare inglese perche il tuo inglese
a buonissimo, ma la tua confidenza non e. (but your confidence it
not) :-)

Mi piace che tu ha detto (what you said) nel film di Patti. (I liked
your message in Patti's film.) Non era stupido - era molto simpatico.
Non lo so che tu sei embarrassed.

I hope you did not have too stressful of a time at the party. Your
English really is good - you have nothing to be embarrassed about.

And, the funniest part: My friend with the Prague
confusion gets confused about things even when there is no possible language barrier.

She is really a friend :)

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Strange Days

I got up at 7.30, barely could keep my eyes open, visited some of my favorite blogs and then decided to go back to bed. I fell asleep right after I put my head on the pillow and woke up again at eleven! As I am not a sleepyhead I checked the time twice, couldn't believe I had spent the all morning in bed - not having sex but just sleeping. What a waste of time!

After a home-made cappuccino, such a nice way to begin our morning (I should say afternoon, I guess), we had to force ourselves to do two things we hate: go to a mall (no need to say that it was packed) and get an Iphone for a friend in Italy. We are both very critical of buying items like this one - Iphone is in our top ten list of most useless items. However, when we arrived at the store we found out they had run out of them for the day. Would you believe that? At, what time was it?, one p.m. they had already sold all the Iphones. People must be eager to spent $400. I do not even have a cell phone, guess how surprised I was to hear that. My husband was too. Despite his scientific education and a long experience in technological fields he refuses technology more than I do, if possible. His cell phone is old, heavy, with the bad habit to work only when and if it wants to, which means it never works when it is supposed to.

Then I have no idea of what I did until now, 10 pm, apart from taking a nap for one more hour between 8 and 9 and trying to digest lemon pepper pappardelle (No comment) that he cooked for lunch. They seem to want to stay with me, here, in my stomach, for the next fourteen hours.

Now I have a bit of a headache, maybe I need some sleep, what do you think?