Sometimes we have happiness and we're not aware of it.
it's a discovery a posteriori .
one day you wake up and the happiness is there, then it slips away, abruptly.
With no warning. And you simply collect all your strengths to pull through.
You wonder why the sun came into your life, enlightened it as never before and then disappeared. Why you were so blessed at first and punished later.
Questions and doubts and clouds and thunderstorms.
it doesn't matter how many tears you'll cry, You'll never find out why, and at some point you accept it. you stop questioning. it's your pain and it will always be.
you'll live with it.
then one day, out of the blue, your mind goes back to what happened and it hurts again.
the loss hurts so badly, with the same intensity, unchanged violence.
and suddenly you feel tired again.