Thanks to an inhuman effort, I was able to kick me out of my house and have dinner in a restaurant last night. The truth is that I could not refuse going, I had to join my husband and three more people whose average age was 55.
Two of them were a professor at university and his wife, they live in LA, he is Italian, she is, who knows, Canadian with Japanese origins. She speaks a great Italian and he has a huge culture that made me aware of what I am, ignorant! I already knew it, but it is always hard when you can add one more evidence to your ignorance, I guess.
The third was a friend of them who is doing a trip around the world.
After the US he will go to Columbia, he will return to Italy in April, at the end of winter. He supports Berlusconi, never paid taxes, this is what he said, and was very critical to teachers. For some unknown reasons he liked me, and talked to me a lot, actually he never stopped telling stories and it must be then when my headache started, and now the headache is still going on.
With my great surprise I found myself not replying to his opinions, not arguing, not even softly(?), I was just nodding. I was not mean to him except when a "che ce frega dello Stato" came out of my mouth unexpectedly. Either I am getting old or I am victim of my own hormones and their still ongoing ups and downs. Despite all his scary ideas, I felt some kind of pain for him. This trip around the world, that he is doing with no friends, only raised in me the thought that he must be lonely!!!. I could almost touch my tenderness for him. Maybe I am the one who feels lonely and I am transferring my loneliness on others.